Broadsheet sent this to me, its absolutely priceless. Guv'ner is the only one here who will really get it, but what the hey.
Though I love, even adore Indian food, especially the really hot bum burning varieties, my introduction to the food was much the same as most Brits. Pubs closed at 11, so with a skinful of lager there were two choices if more consumption of alcohol was desired - the "Nightclub" where watered down drinks and large men wearing dickie bows (Bouncers - *) would harass you or the curry house. The latter was the usual destination.
Many toilet rolls were put in the fridge overnight for the impending festivities the following morning, usually to no avail..a case of futility.
I think I shall break out Madhur Jaffrey's book and cook up a right hot Vindaloo this weekend :-)
* Called dickie bows as they were wrapped around dickheads.