Friday, February 22, 2008

Barren Tundra

Despite training and work (and eating) filling almost every waking hour of life, there is also a huge void. In life, sometimes things you hope to always be there disappear, much like a mojo. When it was there, it was not just a case of taking that comfort and support, but went both ways, proving that the sum of the parts is greater than the whole.

I’ve noticed the effect across the board, in that though I am motivated to work out, it takes a good 15-20 minutes to truly get my head into the workout, and that I usually procrastinate starting the workout itself. Maybe its just that it takes that long to get fully warmed up and the intensity finally blocks out the ability to focus on everything else, much like an alcoholic and booze.

But the void is always there, creating a vacuum where its presence used to be, the presence of that gap almost comforting in a crisp round the edges way as if acknowledging the existence of something that was pure and good in its place. Truly though nothing could or should replace it, so that gap in my life shall stay where it is, a constant reminder and a chill for something valued almost above anything else that has chosen a different path.


bubbleman said...

I think we all have voids someplace in our lives, and mine keeps feeling bigger and bigger, but I can't even tell you what it is. A feeling of things left to be completed maybe.

Exercise is the best way to fill the voids though, too many people choose self-destructive ways to fill them.

The Guv'ner said...

I am obsessed with finding a good pool to start swimming again twice a week as swimming makes me feel at one with the world, but I never realized what a costly and difficult business this was in NYC. I remember the days you could show up at the pool when you wanted to swim, pay for an hour and off you went. Now you need memberships and they come in different lengths and time slots and cost a small fortune. It's insane. And the public pools are outdoor or tiny or cramped. I JUST WANT TO SWIM. Sniff.

Rant over.